Meghanhood

 I wanted to be a mother for pretty much as long as I can remember. I was one of those little girls who took dolls very seriously. At eight I had long conversations with my Cabbage Patch doll about the fact that she was adopted. It didn't matter to me, I loved her nonetheless.  I guess that seed was planted early, adoption, my dad was adopted after all, as were the Nadeau girls down the street. Adoption always an option.  But I was going to have babies.  My Barbies were all mothers, most of them working, largely single, but moms. I never doubted it. And after my mom died, when I was nine, it became THE goal. I needed to find a way to replace that unconditional love I had received in the only way I knew how, a mother/child bond.  As a deeply troubled and promiscuous teen I prayed for an "accident" but it never happened (Thank you to my higher power, thank you thank you!!)  When I lived in England at 20 I did get pregnant, but I only found out while I wa...